This Is for You
by hmweasley
Summary: (For Druck/Skam Germany) Christmas brings back childhood memories for Matteo.


**A/N: This was written for the Druck Advent Calendar on Tumblr.**

**Word count: 2,030**

* * *

Matteo laughed as David stored the ridiculous winter hat back on its rack. He loved shopping with David. It was one of a number of tasks that he'd found difficult in the past but that were easier when he got to do them with David.

What had once been a dreadfully boring chore, could often be fun. They never got through a trip to the store without giggling over something.

"Maybe we should buy the hat," Matteo suggested as they walked away from it. "It looks warm."

David gasped, staring at him with exaggerated horror.

"And one of the ugliest things I've ever seen," he pointed out. "There's no way I'm wearing that thing. You can. It's definitely more of your aesthetic than mine."

Matteo shoved him lightly just because, but then sparkling lights caught his attention.

He came to a stop, staring at the display that took up several aisles of the store. There were fake Christmas trees and boxes upon boxes of ornaments. There were garlands and ceramic villages coated in ceramic snow. There were even light up lawn decorations displayed in their full lit up glory at the end of the aisles.

Matteo stared at Santa's laughing face as he guided the reindeer from his sleigh.

"Matteo," David said hesitantly.

He placed his hand on Matteo's bicep, looking between him and the Christmas decorations as if working out a puzzle.

"Is everything okay?"

Matteo took a deep breath and shook his head.

"Yeah," he said with a small smile. His hand found David's, locking their fingers together. "I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting all of the Christmas stuff to be out already. It caught me off guard."

David gave him a soft smile. Pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, Matteo steered him away from the Christmas decorations, not looking at them again.

* * *

Matteo hadn't been surprised when Hans had suggested throwing a party and inviting all of their friends to decorate the tree together. It was a small affair as far as Hans was concerned, with only people Matteo knew well in attendance, and the atmosphere was the epitome of holiday cheer, which filled Matteo with warmth from head to toe.

It was a far cry from decorating the tree with his mom like he'd done in his childhood. They'd played much softer Christmas music for one, and it had always been just the two of them, quietly deliberating about where each ornament should go.

Despite the tree and ornaments and other Christmas staples, Matteo could almost forget that they were celebrating the same holiday that had been such a huge deal during his childhood.

He laughed with the others. He threatened to paint a crude joke on his ornament to make David scold him for a few minutes without getting distracted by one of their friends. He even joined in on the video call to Amira, who was having too much fun rubbing it in their faces that it was summer in Australia.

Then 'O Holy Night' began playing, and a wave of emotions his Matteo in an instant.

He paused as he was taken back to the countless times his mother had played the same song, even the same recording, during the Christmas season. He thought of her and how warm the house had felt during December when he was a kid. She'd always been at her happiest around the holidays, and Matteo felt the same rush of emotions he'd felt upon seeing the Christmas decorations in the store.

It took a minute for David to realize that Matteo had gone into his own head. With the ballad playing, their friends had quieted and were having conversations in smaller groups throughout the room, though there was still plenty of laughter.

David sat down beside Matteo, a piece of garland wrapped around his shoulders from when he and Mia had been joking with each other minutes before. He placed a hand on Matteo's back, worry creasing his forehead.

Matteo smiled at him.

"This song reminds me of my mom," he said softly.

David nodded but didn't say anything as Matteo laid his head on his shoulder. They sat there quietly as the song continued. Matteo went in and out of awareness. He felt David play with his fingers and watched Hans and Jonas debate over where to hang the rainbow-colored ornament Hans had spent the last half an hour making. With the song playing, the scene suddenly took him right back to his childhood and the first Christmas after his dad had left.

His mom had only put the handmade ornaments from Matteo's childhood up on the tree that year. She'd said the others reminded her too much of other times, and as far as he knew, she hadn't bought any new ones since.

As the song finished, he stood up, tugging David with him, and went to join his friends at the tree.

* * *

Matteo and David were in the shop looking for something to give Kiki, who was the hardest of their friends to shop for, when the same Christmas display from a couple weeks before caught Matteo's eye. It was just as bright as he remembered it, though some of the decorations were gone.

David stopped speaking mid-sentence when he realized where Matteo was looking. He tilted his head to the side as he watched him, but Matteo didn't say anything as he made a beeline for the shelf full of Christmas ornaments.

He wasn't sure what he was doing or what inside him had spurred him to actually do it. His heart was beating faster in his chest as he looked at the boxes upon boxes of ornaments in every color imaginable, but his ears weren't ringing and he could still breath. He realized with surprise that he could do this. He could look at the ornaments and be okay.

David was silent at his side as Matteo scanned the shelves, and Matteo was thankful for it. He had no idea how to explain his behavior. Hans had already taken care of decorating the tree in their apartment. It wasn't like they were in the market for more ornaments.

Yet one box in particular caught Matteo's eye. The set was in red, green, and white stripes. Matteo picked up the box without thinking and stared at it for a moment before he realized why he'd been drawn to it.

"I don't know why, but these remind me of my mom," he said quietly.

David's hand pressed against his back, anchoring him in place.

"They're pretty," he said in the tone of a person who didn't know what else to say. "You probably know what your mom likes, so they remind you of her because you know she'd buy them herself if she were here."

Matteo gave an amused snort as he turned the box over in his hands.

"She threw out a bunch of stuff after Dad left, including all of the ornaments except the ones I made for her as a kid," he admitted. "I don't know if she's bought any more."

It was quiet for a moment as Matteo stared at the ornaments.

"Do you want to buy them?" David asked rubbing his hand against Matteo's back.

Matteo considered the question and shrugged.

"I don't know if she'd want them."

"You said she kept the ones you made her, right?"

He waited for Matteo's nod before continuing.

"I think she'd like them if they came from you."

Matteo considered it. He was still a little uneasy with the idea of presenting them to his mom, but she'd been doing really well lately, and he knew that David was right. She'd appreciate any present that came from him. She always had.

He clutched the box to his chest.

"Okay," he said quietly. "Let's get them."

David offered him a small smile and a kiss on the cheek. He even let Matteo grip his hand tightly for the rest of the trip through the store.

* * *

It was David who wrapped the ornaments neatly in wrapping paper dotted with Christmas trees, but it was Matteo who carried the box carefully in his arms the entire way to see his mom. With one hand in David's, he used the other to grip the box tightly, as if the ornaments might slip from his grasp and shatter before they made it to their destination.

He couldn't remember having given her a gift for years, and that knowledge left him even more nervous. Of course she'd always smiled at the crayon pictures he'd given her as a child, but he wasn't sure he'd ever bought her anything at all. Not for Christmas, not for her birthday. He made a mental note to change that.

When his mom answered the door, she and David were both all smiles. Only Matteo shifted nervously as his mom hugged both of them and ushered them inside, offering them hot cocoa before they'd even sat down. David, sensing Matteo's nerves, answered for both of them, but Matteo hardly noticed the mug that was sat in front of him on the coffee table.

"What's that?" his mom asked, motioning at the gift that was now sitting in Matteo's lap.

Matteo blinked at it as if he'd forgotten it was there. He hadn't, of course; the weight of it was pressing against his thighs with more force than it should have had. However, he had kind of forgotten that his mom could see the box as clearly as he could. While wrapped, it still felt like a secret.

Both his mom and David gave him the time he needed to answer. He held up the box and tilted it back and forth as if that would allow his mother to better see it. David's hand found his knee.

"We brought you a gift," Matteo said.

The words came out jumbled, but his mom understood them. Her smile was soft, if a little confused.

"Isn't it a bit early for Christmas gifts?"

David gave Matteo's knee a squeeze as he answered for him.

"It's something for you to use before Christmas, so we thought you'd want to open it now."

Matteo was thankful when David took the box from him and stood to hand it across to his mom. Matteo didn't think he could have done it himself; his legs didn't feel particularly stable. David pressed against his side as his mom opened the box, careful not to tear the wrapping paper when possible.

"You really didn't need to," she muttered as she worked.

She sounded as flustered as Matteo felt, and something about that left Matteo feeling more confident about his decision to buy her the ornaments.

"Oh," she breathed, her eyes shining as she pulled the paper away to reveal what was underneath. "These are beautiful."

She clutched them to her chest and beamed at them, making Matteo's eyes sting.

"Thank you boys so much."

She stood and held her arms out. Matteo was on his feet in seconds, his legs once again stable beneath him. He let himself be gathered into his mother's embrace, sinking into it like he so often had as a child.

They stayed like that for a long moment, David silent where he still sat on the couch, but eventually, his mom pulled away. Her smile was still wide as she looked at him, and he couldn't even feel annoyed when she patted him on the cheek fondly.

"What do you say we put them on the tree together?" she asked, bending down to pick up the box.

Matteo beamed, his smile only widening when David stood from the couch and placed a kiss to his cheek.

"Only if we can listen to Christmas music," he said, earning a laugh from David that somehow managed to make him smile even wider.

They set to work with enthusiasm. The atmosphere was entirely different from the party Hans had held, but it was every bit as nice. Matteo thought his insides might melt from how warm he felt in that moment. And when 'O Holy Night' began playing once more, he still couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic.


End file.
